1 John 4:8 The one who does not love has not known God, because God is love.
This verse is another example of how John sets boundaries in this letter to help the reader define and understand the type of life a believer ought to have. Not loving others exposes a fundamental problem in a person. The aorist verb tense of has not known (egnō) suggests that this person has been living in the darkness and has not experienced God’s love in a personal way or has rejected God’s light and chosen to live in the darkness of humanness. In the context of a Christian’s life, this verse is another warning of the danger of living like the world or being deceived by the wrong definition of love. To know God is to live in love. To reject love indicates that a person has not really known the nature of God. Not loving others is evidence that a person is not listening to the Holy Spirit, because the Spirit produces love (Galatians 5:22). Something is causing the person to live a fleshly, self-focused life that has distorted love.
If we find ourselves in a place where it is difficult to love others, we must ask how our relationship with God is. Are we indeed walking in the light? Are there unconfessed sins or wrong attitudes? Are our motives pure, or are they self-serving in any way? Answering these questions with honesty should move us to confess our sin of a lack of love. Distorted love indicates a shallow understanding of God. Learning to love like God will bring us closer to knowing God better. Love can never be exhausted; there is always more to know, experience, and do because there is always more to discover about God. We cannot suddenly know about God; we get to know God and continue to discover and experience God. In humility and dependence on God, we become more loving and continue to discover more of God’s character and experience more of his presence.