1 Timothy 3:4-5 4leading his own house well, having submissive children, with all respect 5(but if anyone does not know how to lead his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?),
The focus of the qualifications for overseers shifts to the family. The house (oikou) was the center of society in the Mediterranean region. A typical household might have included several generations, as is assumed in the mention of children in verse 4. Wealthy households often also had slaves. The father was the head of the home and final authority. Lead (proistamenon) is a compound word meaning to stand before in the sense of leading, guiding, protecting, or governing. It repeated again in verses 5 and 12 of this chapter. The overseer should watch over and make sure his house is doing well because he is doing well in his oversight.
The overseer’s relationship to his children is of particular focus in these verses. There are two primary indicators of good leadership skills evidenced in the home life. First, the children should be submissive (hypotagē) to the overseer in the form of obedience and respect. Children were expected to submit to their fathers (Ephesians 6:1). Second, they must respect (semnotētos). This word has the serious respect like a person gives in a religious or political context. Respecting is a form of honoring one’s parent. It requires some degree of humility. The opposite would be arrogant rebellion. Often, the way a parent treats a child will be reflected in how a child treats a parent. If an overseer is not good at caring for his family, his family will indicate this by not respecting and honoring the overseer.
Outstanding parenting and leadership skills are no guarantee that children will grow up committed to Jesus and the church. Every generation needs to make its own decisions. Those who lead the church are especially out in the open for people to see. They are often scrutinized for how their children act. Children are the report card of the parent.
Verse 5 makes the application of the overseer’s family and church leadership. The home is the school of preparation and the testing laboratory for church leadership. The word care (epimelēsetai) is used also in Luke 10:27 for the type of compassion and love the good Samaritan showed towards the injured man by bandaging his wounds. An overseer should not be domineering of his family or church but have deep compassion and love to those under his responsibility.
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