Matthew 19:10-12 10His disciples said to him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11But he said to them, “Not everyone can accept this word but to whom it is given. 12For there are eunuchs who have been so from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by people, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to accept this accept it.”
Jesus’ disciples have been listening to the exchange between the Pharisees and him and come to a logical conclusion about marriage and divorce. The disciples were confused about the extent of what Jesus had just said. Since marriages seem to have so many problems, and if divorce is not God’s will, then it logically seems that it would be better not to get married in order not to sin against God and create many problems for oneself. If there were no options for divorce, contrary to popular Jewish belief, then rather getting stuck in a bad marriage, just avoid it altogether.
Jesus’ response to the disciples’ statement is not easy to understand and must be interpreted within the context of his larger kingdom ethic. He basically says that not everyone can experience the ideal marriage as he describes. Life is too complex and people are too sinful. All people, including his disciples, struggle to reach the ideal he has just taught. The type of marriage God has designed will take significant commitment from each person. This commitment must be lived out in humility and selfless love.
What does one do when life become difficult and one’s marriage seems to be about to fall apart? What can one do when one’s marriage has broken apart? Again, we must turn to God’s grace, forgiveness, and love. But also, from that point forward, we must abide in Jesus and not make more challenges by remarriage. Divorce and remarriage have become too easy in modern society, even for spiritual leaders like pastors.
In verse 12, Jesus provides an example of the type of commitment required in God’s kingdom illustrated by eunuchs. A eunuch is someone (primarily male) who cannot have sexual relations. Since sex was viewed as vital in marriage, eunuchs did not get marriage but remained single.
Jesus gives three types of eunuchs. The first type are those who have been born with a defect or genetic abnormality. The second type are those who had been emasculated by others, often as a form of punishment. The third type are those who have chosen to forego sexual intimacy for the sake of God’s kingdom. This might not necessarily mean physical castration, but some people over the ages have taken this quite literally and done so to themselves.
What Jesus says about this third type of eunuch can be applied in some ways to those who are single. Some people have chosen to remain single so that they can devote more of their time and effort to God’s kingdom. The kingdom call is higher than even the call to marriage. Paul the Apostle is one example of someone who remained single so that he could serve God (see 1 Corinthians 7:8). A married couple can be a significant force in kingdom work, but one’s time and attention will always be divided. God gives a special grace to those who remain single (1 Corinthians 7:7).
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